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Really. Black people are onto us. They know we say and do things to make it look as if progress has been made. They see us working hard to show how not‑prejudiced we are. Skip it. We haven't made real progress. We're still bigots‑and they know it.
Cut the crap about all your "black friends." You don't have black friends. A friend is someone you have over for dinner regularly, someone you go on vacation with, someone you ask to be in your wedding party, someone you go to church with on Sunday, someone you call often to share your most intimate secrets. That kind of friend.
Your black "friends" know that the chances of your dropping your toddler off with them in their part of town while you go on a weekend trip is about as good as your inviting them to go on the trip with you.
I've heard liberals say dumb things like, "There are no black people on Friends." I like it that there are no black friends on
Friends, because in real life friends like that don't have black friends. It's an honest, believable show.
So let's dispense with this ruse that blacks and whites are now all part of that big multi‑cultural quilt we call America. We live in our world, they live in theirs. And that's what we've grown comfortable with, like it or not. This wouldn't be so bad if their world existed on a financially and socially parallel plane. If it did, then we could just mix and mingle however we saw fit‑as equals, the way we already do with other white people. For instance, I don't have much desire to hang out with Young Republicans. That's okay, because they're going to do just fine without me, and my decision not to associate with them doesn't affect their standard of living or quality of life. (In fact, it probably improves it.)
Isn't it better not to coddle each other with the delusion that African‑Americans are finally part of the mainstream? Isn't it smarter to lift the veil of false hope we give African‑Americans, so that we don't waste any time fooling ourselves? The next time you're talking to one of your "black friends," instead of telling him how you're really "down" with the new Jay‑Z CD, why not put your arm around him and say, "I love ya, bro, you know that, so I gotta tell you a little secret we white people have: Your people aren't ever going to have it as good as we do. And if you think working hard and trying to fit in is going to get you a seat on the board of directors when we've already got our black seat filled well, friend, if it's equality and advancement you seek, try Sweden."
The sooner we all start talking like that, the more honest a society we'll all be living in.
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