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By Jeremy Laurance (from THE, August 23, 1995)
THE structure of the traditional British family has altered dramatically over the past decade, with the divorce rate at an all-time high and the popularity of marriage at a 50-year low.
Figures published yesterday for 1993 show that the number of couples divorcing that year reached 165,000, while the number of marriages fell below 300,000.
The high risk of marital breakdown is making young people increasingly cautious, with more people delaying the age at which they take their vows. More couples are choosing to live together and have illegitimate children.
Britain’s divorce rate is among the highest in Europe, along with Denmark and Sweden. After fluctuating in the 1980s, it has resumed its upward trend with a 9 per cent rise since 1989. The marriages that ended in divorce in 1993 lasted an average of just under ten years.
The number of children whose parents divorced also reached a new record in 1993 of 176,000.
Couples are on average almost three years older when they tie the knot than their counterparts in 1983. Men are 28.2 and women 26.2 when they marry for the first time, compared with 25.7 and 23.4.
Since 1972, when a record 426,000 couples were married, the number of weddings has fallen by a third. In 1983 there were 344,334 marriages and the number remained steady for the rest of the decade. In 1990, however, the downward trend resumed, and in 1993 only 299,197 couples made the commitment.
The number of divorces doubled during the 1970s from 74,000 in 1971 to 146,000 a decade later. They remained at roughly that level during the 1980s. If the present rates continue, nearly 40 per cent of marriages will end in divorce.
Research shows that children from families disrupted by separation and divorce fare worse than those in which the parents stay together.
Zelda West Meads, a Relate counsellor, said: “Marriages are declining and divorce may be going up, but most people still go into marriage wanting it to last a lifetime. Most people still believe that marriage or an equally committed relationship is the best environment in which to bring up children.”
Rabbi Dr Julian Jacobs, speaking on behalf of the Chief Rabbi, Dr Jonathan Sacks, said society’s acceptance of divorce was a matter of regret. “We seem to have lost our sense of shame. In she past people were embarrassed to admit they had affairs or got divorced but now the attitude is that people can do their own thing. Not every marriage was perfect but even those less than ideally happy continued for the sake of the family. Nowadays, if you don’t like how your wife makes a cheese-cake you get divorced.”
Dr Jack Dominian, the director of the One plus One charity, which does research into the prevention of marital breakdown, said couples were inadequately prepared for the commitment. “Marriage has changed from a contract of social roles, with the husband as provider and the wife as home-maker, to a relationship of love but people are not trained, prepared or supported for this transformation. It is one thing to know about social roles but it is another to master the social skills of relatioinships.”
Louie Burghes, of the Family Policy Studies Centre, said it was not inevitable that the children of divorced couples did less well. “The quality of the relationship between the parents and the children is the most important thing,” she said.
b) Prepare extensive answers to the following questions:
1) What couples have illegitimate children? 2) How long had the couples been married on average before they divorced in 1993? 3) What do most people still hope for going into marriage? 4) Why did people in the past continue their marriages and did not divorce? 5) Do the British try to prevent marital breakdown?
c) Translate the sentences into English using the words from the article:
1) Браки в среднем продолжаются около 10 лет. 2) Все больше людей откладывают время вступления в брак. 3) Количество бракосочетаний уменьшилось на треть. 4) Лучшей средой для воспитания детей является семья. 5) Самое главное – это отношения между родителями и детьми.
Read the passage and then retell it. When doing it you will, of course, put the
sentences in slightly different language. Take care not to change the meaning
however:
“Marriage has changed from a contract of social roles, with the husband as provider and the wife as home-maker, to a relationship of love but people are not trained, prepared or supported for this transformation. It is one thing to know about social roles but it is another to master the social skills of relationships”.
Ex. 10. a) Read an interview with an Indian lady, Rajkumary Kejriwal, or just
Raj about her arranged (брак, когда жениха девушке выбирают родители) marriage.
I = Interviewer
R = Raj
I How old were you when you met your husband, Raj?
R Mm … I was erm, sixteen.
I And what were you doing at the time?
R Oh I was at home. I had left school, and I was having private tuition actually, at home, to prepare me for my exams.
I And your father arranged your marriage, is that right?
R Yes, that’s right.
I Could you tell me how he did that?
R Yes. He looked around for a suitable husband. He asked friends and relatives if they knew anybody, and found out about their education, their background, and most importantly, the family’s background. He got all the information about them, you know.
I And did this take a long time?
R In my case, no, but it depends you see, erm … sometimes a father can see up to a hundred men before he chooses one. My elder sister … for my elder sister my father saw over a hundred men. You know, sometimes it can be difficult to decide. But for my brother he saw only one girl.
I And for you?
R He saw only two, one in the morning and one in the evening, and er … he chose the second one.
I My goodness! Tell me about that day.
R Yes … well, in the morning the first man came. He was very wealthy, but er … not very well educated, but he had a lot of money. And he was well-dressed, and he had very good manners.
I And the other one?
R He wasn’t terribly wealthy, but he was well-educated, and he came from a good background. His family owned a village, and were like princes. And all his relatives were suitable. He was twenty-two, and studying law.
I And your father chose him?
R Yes.
I Why, do you know?
R I think he thought that money wasn’t everything. He didn’t want the … you know, he didn’t want the family’s money. Education was more important. If he’s well-educated, he’ll earn it later. Actually, Shyam, that’s my husband’s name, didn’t want to get married. He wanted to wait, but you know his father persuaded him. You know when he came to my house to meet my father, he was very badly dressed because he wanted my father to refuse him, so he could say to his father ‘Look, they didn’t like me’. But luckily my father did like him and – erm – so he had to say ‘yes’.
I And did you meet him that day?
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