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Planning to get married

Before getting married a couple get engaged. It is traditional for the man to propose (ask his girl­friend to marry him) and, if she accepts, to give his new fiancée an engagement ring. Today many couples decide together to get married.

The couple then set a date and decide who will perform the marriage ceremony and where it will be held. In the US judges and religious leaders can perform weddings. Religious weddings are often held in a church or chapel, but the ceremony can take place anywhere and couples often choose somewhere that is special to them. In Britain many couples still prefer to be married in church, even if they are not religious. Others choose a civil cere­mony at a registry office or a hotel.

Traditionally, the family of the bride (the woman who is to be married) paid for the wedding, but today the couple usually pay part of the cost. A traditional wedding with a hundred or more guests is expensive. Before the wedding, the couple send out printed invitations and guests buy a gift for them, usually something for their home. In the US couples register at a store by leaving there a list of presents they would like. Guests go to the store to look at the list and buy a present. In Britain couples send a wedding list to guests or, as in America, open a bride's book in a large store.

Before a wedding can take place in a church it must be announced there on three occasions. This is called the reading of the banns. Some religious groups refuse to allow a couple to marry in church if either of them has been divorced, but they may agree to bless the marriage after a civil ceremony. The night before the wedding the bride and bride­groom or groom (her future husband) often go to separate parties given for them by friends. At the groom's stag party guests drink alcohol, joke about how the groom is going to lose his freedom, and may watch a stripper (a woman who takes her clothes off). The hen party for the bride, called in the US a bachelorette party, is usually quieter.