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Extract from a Letter from Prince Boris

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… and so ended, my dear Andrei, your brother’s plan to take over the world!

Up until today, I thought it was only you and dear Mother who knew me for what I really was (although she always took my side, bless her). But then, I realised the Doctor knew me.

I woke up in bed, and he was sitting there, reading a paper.

I nodded to him.

‘Hello!’ he said. ‘No, no, don’t try and get up – I’m afraid you were closest to the psychic blast. Probably sent your spinal column jangling like a wind chime.’

I was rueful. ‘I imagine this means I won’t avoid the lecture.’

To my surprise he shrugged. ‘Do you really want one? You know, I’ve spent hundreds of years arguing with people like you. Do you know, in all that time, not one of you lot has ever changed your mind? It’s like arguing with the internet.’ He grinned. ‘Don’t worry, I’m not wasting either of our breaths.’

I laughed with him until his smile faded.

‘So,’ he said, ‘in case you were wondering, let me see – the poor creature you were trying to exploit is gone. As is your mental link to the patients. Nothing left. It’s a terrible, terrible waste. Happy?’

‘Not really, but it was worth a try,’ I said, straightening out the bedspread.

‘Really?’ he leapt to his feet. ‘Honestly? That’s it.’

‘These things are always worth a try.’ I waggled a hand. ‘You never know.’

‘Nah,’ he said. ‘Trouble is, I always do know. I always win. And no, it doesn’t get boring.’

‘This is starting to sound perilously like a lecture, my dear Doctor,’ I put in, yawning.

He nodded. ‘I just wanted to know… have you always been like this? Always? Really?’

I spread out my hands. ‘For my sins.’

‘Now you’re just being charming,’ The Doctor started pacing angrily. ‘I mean, what did you really imagine would happen? That you’d rule the world? Because I tell you this, from here on in there’s a lot of that going around. It suddenly gets fashionable. Few years from now a Frenchman will try it. I kid you not.’

We both laughed at this.

I tugged at the counterpane again. ‘I’ll tell you the truth, Doctor. I’ve always been this way… but there just didn’t seem that much point. You know, what’s the point when you’re going to drop dead any day? And then, all of a sudden, when I started to feel better, when I realised how powerful the creature was, and what I could do with it…’

‘I know,’ the Doctor agreed with me. He told me how, if he had the power, he’d use it to destroy whole worlds and not give it a second thought. Well, that’s not quite what he said, but those were pretty much his sentiments.

‘I admire you,’ said the Doctor. ‘No, no, I really do. To be given a second chance, and to so utterly, totally, awfully miss the point.’

‘That’s where you’re wrong,’ I argued. ‘You missed the point. I took the risk. It’s what makes me the great man, and you the tiny one.’

The Doctor shrugged. ‘Well, I like being tiny.’

He stared at me then. His eyes not even blinking. Almost as though they didn’t need to.

‘Well,’ he said. ‘As you said, you took a risk.’

‘And look how I lost,’ I sighed. ‘With a bit of luck, I could have lived for ever.’

‘Instead of which…’ The Doctor pulled a face.

‘It’s all right,’ I said. ‘I know. The cure is fading.’

‘What will you do now?’ he asked.

‘Oh, make the most of the time I have left. Hopefully finish reading a few books.’

‘Better make them short ones.’ He nodded. ‘Well, I have to go and sort out the mess. But I thought I’d make sure that you were all right.’

‘Generous in victory?’ I asked.

‘Not exactly,’ he said. ‘It’s just such a shame. As I said, I really liked you.’

We both laughed again at that. Then my laugh turned into a cough. The coughing lasted a very long time.

When I finished coughing and looked up, the Doctor had gone…




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