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То tell the truth, you're a liar!
Nobody likes being called a liar, but the truth is we all tell lies. One expert estimates that the average person tells more than 1000 lies a year, while another claims some adults tell as many as 200 a day — or 73,000 a year.
Women lie more than men. However, women's lies fall mostly into the «white» category: reassuring a friend about her choice of outfit or covering a situation of potential embarrassment.
It comes as no surprise that politicians are the biggest liars in the world, making promises they know they can't keep.
They are followed by salesmen — particularly the used-car variety — and actors seeking publicity. Even doctors sometimes lie to sick patients about their condition.
Of all professional people, scientists, architects and engineers lie the least. After all, their statements can easily be checked by other experts in the same field.
But don't worry, says Dr Robert Goldstein, a professor of psychiatry who led a team of researchers to find these facts.
He believes you can still be a nice person and a liar at the same time, because most of the lies told by the average person are harmless, white lies.
For example, a man might tell his wife or girl-friend, «Sweetheart, you look great», when in reality she doesn't look so good. These sort of lies are constructive. They can cheer people up if they feel a bit low, says Dr Goldstein.
One of Dr Goldstein's colleagues Dr Gerald Jellison recently put a team of researchers onto the subject of lying.
They found that adults tell about 200 a day. «These lies are excuses, alibis, explanations and apologies we fabricate on the spot almost automatically,» says Dr Jellison.
His researchers found that women tell about four white lies every 16 minutes, compared to men's three. They also found, like Dr Goldstein, that women were better at lying; their lies were more convincing than those told by men. Women were also better at detecting lies.
When a person lies, a lot of physiological changes take place. It is based on these changes that lie-detector machines, or specially adapted polygraphs, operate.
An unnaturally cool customer can outwit a lie detector, but the machine will not record a lie if one has not been uttered.
Firstly, the liar's throat contracts and the voice slightly trembles. The heart beats faster, blood pressure and perspiration rates increase and eye movements quicken. Few of us can rely on technology to detect a falsehood, but the study of body language can be almost as accurate.
If you think somebody is deceiving you, here's what to look for:
Fidgeting: Liars often touch their faces and the backs of their necks.
Hesitation: This applies in both the physical and vocal sense. If your question stops somebody dead in their tracks, beware! It takes longer to think up a lie than to tell the truth.
Smiling: If somebody starts smiling more than usual, be on your guard. Beware also when a normal «smiler» cuts back on the smiles. Both could indicate lying.
Coughing: Together with sneezing, this is often used as a stalling technique. Both sometimes indicate that the lie is choking the person telling it.
Eyes: A person who is lying won't look you in the eye as much as someone telling the truth, so be wary of anybody who avoids eye contact.
The shrug: Be suspicious if somebody shrugs for no apparent reason when they are telling you something. This could indicate they are trying to deceive you.
Distance: Liars sometimes back away from you, if only slightly, when they are trying to deceive you.
Voice: The pitch of the voice may be higher when somebody is lying. Some liars also repeat themselves. Disruption in the speech pattern, such as stammering or a sudden high pitch in the voice itself, also indicates lying.
Head nodding: This means the liar is betraying their own doubts and their insincerity.
You can also tell people are lying by the things they say. Liars use evasive words and phrases that often mean the opposite to what they are saying. For example, if somebody says, «It depends», this is often a way of saying no without having to face the consequences directly.
If somebody says, «That's interesting», they mean just the opposite. The person to whom you are talking is actually bored with the conversation and wishes you would either stop talking or change the subject.
Here are more examples of what they actually mean:
«Let's get together some time.» Without a specific agreement, this is an insincere invitation that shows a desire to get away, to end the conversation.
«We'll see» — this is another way of saying no and is often used by parents.
«Don't worry, everything will be all right» — this really means the listener is fed-up hearing about your problems but wants to appear concerned. And there's the classic: «I wouldn't lie to you.» If somebody says this to you, they certainly would lie and are probably just about to.
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